I don’t know what to say about what’s to be done. In fact, in the face of the complex histories that undergird most if not all of the wars in the world, if I waited on knowing I’d stay stunned and still for a long, long time. But knowing is not all it’s cracked up to be. There are other ways to engage the world.

“We’ll never win” is not a reason to lose hope, or to lose sight of joy, the glorious light in most human beings, or powerful advances in human rights and freedoms. It might not even be all bad.

When responses to horrible trends and events begin to sound like shouts returning across an empty canyon, echoing themselves but changing little, then it’s time to stop shouting and listen.

It would do no good to dwell on my intention, or my honest not knowing. It would be awful to get mad at them for hurting, or to question whether their pain is real. But that’s exactly what happens, far too often, to people who suffer from weathering. When it does, it only makes things worse.

It’s uncomfortable to live with paradox, with things that seem to clash against each other. I struggle to hold the particulars of social identity, especially those that have been constructed precisely to undermine shared humanity. It seems at odds with the world I want to know. But is it?

Practicing steadiness and accountability, in small ways, day to day, may seem like a pin drop compared to the roar that Tyre Nichols’ killing deserves. But imagine if even one of those men that day had been practiced at getting hold of himself. Imagine if even one of those men were practiced enough at deep apology to see past the moment, to the horrible consequence, and commit to do no more harm.

Certainty is far less frightening, but uncertainty offers more hope for moving forward.

The kind of grace we can offer each other is a generous stance. It doesn’t sanction persistent ignorance, bigotry, or harm. It makes room for the good in people to shine. It makes it possible for them to change.

But thinking is not enough. Learning is not enough. Being moved is not enough. - thinking together needs to drive change.

If we assume that others can't or won't change? How is it possible to change unjust and inequitable systems and structures?

Because I do often believe that the people with whom I disagree threaten to ruin all that I love, the pull is strong to try to make them change.

Practicing compassion in the face of threat is really, really hard. No wonder the Dalai Lama calls compassion a sign of strength.

The vulnerability to fearing difference and change puts humans on a collision course with the absolute fact that change is inevitable. 

“The challenge is discerning what truth is, because truth is easily skewed by perspective, and perspective isn’t simple.”

Read the October 7th edition of the Intersections: The ILI Newsletter.

…faced with fear, or saturated with certainty, self-righteousness or rage, anyone is vulnerable to the temptation to dehumanize. Read the most recent issue of Intersections: The ILI Newsletter.

There is just no more time for rigid thinking and self-self-righteousness. We will only see the backside of this moment if we do things differently.

To change the course of history will require a historic stepping up. . It will require resilience, and no small amount of courage and creativity -- and will

If I hadn’t moved in across the street; if I hadn’t sat in that circle; if I hadn’t traded business cards at a writing workshop, I’d still have no idea. And my life and work would be vastly different than it is today – less rich, less full of possibility.

I suspect those arguments that feel like battles happen because the arguers are afraid, or enraged, or heartbroken – or all three.